What do I mean by, “The Queen is Back?” Well, my alter ego, Melody Jai, has awakened from her slumber. No, a prince didn’t kiss her. haha!! Some people want to know why the return after the blog I wrote about why she left. Others want to know what’s next and what to expect? I’m here to tell it to you exactly how it’s going down.

If you’ve been following my journey over the past year on this blog, you know I have been traveling the world and finding myself. My trip to India was cut short by a few issues,

READ ABOUT IT HERE

and so upon my return I have had many obstacles to overcome. I can now say that I am starting to settle into being back in the states. Charlotte is where I will be calling home for at least the next year.

Now that I have my own space, I need to buy some things. As you know, I sold almost everything I owned before I left because I thought I was going to be gone longer than what I was. The money I had saved for my trip was slowly spent over the past 6 months living with my sister. My credit cards are almost maxed out, and I bought a car so I am back in debt. The pressure was starting to mount, and there was no sign of getting a gig on a movie set to help alleviate the money issue.

I really didn’t know where I wanted to live up until about a month ago. I had so many options, stay in North Georgia, move back to Atlanta, or try a new city, Charlotte. My deciding factor for moving? My ex. That fucker decided to pop back into my life a couple days after Christmas and it’s been nothing buy drama ever since. It’s so weird because he isn’t the same person I thought I knew from before. Have I changed so much that I now see through his bullshit, or was he acting the whole time he was with me?

To he honest with you, it really makes me question what I know about relationships and the feelings of love, support, and security. Was it all a lie? I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life, even the guy I wrote the book about. I truly felt a connection like no other, but he played it off like he has connections with lots of people and that what we had wasn’t anything special. I def got closure hearing him say that. In my dream, we had a bond and a connection like no other, but to him I was just another “connection”

So why have I been upset if I got closure? Because he started fucking with my emotions, my kindness, and he knew I needed money. He has been dangling a decent sum of money over my head to do some dirty work for him, and at first I was down cause it seemed so easy, but then he flipped the script on me and decided not to help me out. Which is so fucked up. Without getting into details about all this, I just want to say

I am done! Like done, done.

He has hurt me so much over the past two months and I won’t allow him to do it to me anymore. There is no going back.

Now for the rise of the Queen. When I first met my ex, my new website was close to being complete. I was producing content to sell on my new site, but shortly after I found out that someone was leaking pornographic stuff of me, I was so hurt. You can read about that in my first blog posting

“I Forgive You”

So I focused on dancing to get my debt paid off instead of making more content. I was happy, in love, with him anyways so it worked out.

I really didn’t think that I would go back to selling stuff online honestly. I thought that my alter ego had vanished along my healing path, but something was stirring inside of me. She was still there. She was waiting for a break in my thought pattern. A shifting of beliefs and banishment on old agreements.

When I finished the book about my lover and gave it to him, I realized that I had made an agreement with him that I would never go into porn to make money. But why does that even matter? He didn’t even respond when I sent him the book. He hasn’t even acknowledged that I even sent it. That’s ok though cause I kinda figured he wouldn’t. So I am done with that situation too. That agreement is null and void. I am not saying I will be fully going into sex scenes, but what I am saying is that I will make money however I chose to. IDGAF what a man thinks, especially if he isn’t trying to help me with my bills or with my goals.

What are my goals? The goal for the site that I have now is to make enough money to where I can get my own yoga/dance studio. Where it will be located is still yet to be determined. I need to get my debt paid off and my funds up.

Once a stripper, always a stripper.

I know how to market my body to make money. By starting an OnlyFans account, I don’t have to go into the strip club like I use to and deal with all the drama and wear and tear on my body. Plus, let’s face it, my body is getting too old. HA!

Running my own business again has gotten the creative juices flowing. That stirring I was feeling inside was my alter ego saying she needed self expression. She needed to dance again. How will the Melody Jai brand evolve this time? No idea. Will “My Goddess Lifestyle” be put on the back burner. Absolutely NOT!!!. The only reason I haven’t written a post in a while is because I haven’t been able get my site to cooperate. It kept giving me error messages and I couldn’t post.

Oh and now that I am getting settled in, I will be able to start making the “Free” gifts I promised last year. Some people got them and some didn’t. I am def still doing it. I will make good on my promise.

So moving forward, I will be tapping into the more sexual side of myself to make money to be able to grow this brand and have my own yoga studio. I’m glad you’ve stuck around for my journey. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Oh and why do I say “The Queen is Back?” Because it was time for me to come back and reclaim my crown. I use to say #QueenofAtlanta but now that I am in the Queen city it’s only fitting to say #QueenofCharlotte