5 Steps to Realize You’re an Asshole

I know it’s hard to believe, but I am a recovering asshole. Asshole runs in my family so it’s in my DNA to be an asshole. Well, it was in my DNA. Anytime I work on myself I am changing my body on a cellular level which in turn changes my DNA, but I am not here to talk about DNA.

It all started yesterday morning when I read my Facebook messages.I received a message from my friend that is watching Chunk, my French Bulldog, that said “Hey, hit me up ASAP”. Mind you she’s on the Eastern Standard time and I am on India Standard Time so she sent the message at 3 a.m. my time and I didn’t receive it until around 9 a.m., which is around midnight her time. I had to wait over half the day to find out what was going on.

I kept myself busy trying to not think about what could be wrong, but right before my meeting started she messaged me to tell me that I would need to send her $700 for a pet deposit because her landlord found out that she was keeping Chunk. I was in shock! $700! Damn! I have NEVER paid that much for a pet deposit.

My first reaction was to find out if that was even legal in the state of TN. Then, I found a website that said I might be able to get the deposit waved if Chunk was a service dog. haha! Yeah, right?! Chunk a service dog lol Yeah, I was trying to find a way to get out of paying the $700, but wouldn’t you want to also? lol

Anyways, I dismissed the conversation and told her to get the money from my sister because I couldn’t be bothered at the time over some drama. I had a photoshoot so I didn’t need that to show up on my face, but it did. I could tell in the photos that something was on my mind. Even though I wasn’t thinking about it during the shoot, you could still tell. Don’t worry, we still got some good shots that I’ll share at a later date.

When I returned back to the place I am staying, I had another incident happen. Money was also involved in this situation. I felt like I got ripped off by someone that I know and trusted. My energy at this point was way out of whack, and when things are going in this direction it is best to sit and analyze why it’s happening. I’ve been doing this a lot lately.

I couldn’t analyze everything right away because I still had to deal with getting the $700 to Chunk’s babysitter. The only person that has access to my bank account besides myself is my sister. So I text her and let her know that I needed her to get the money out of my savings and give to the lady. Without going into detail about our conversation, I realized that I had passed my negative energy on to my sister. It was by accident, but I saw it happen.

Great! Now I started to feel bad about getting my sister involved and possibly upset her in the process. Gheesh! I needed this dark cloud to go away. I called my bestie to vent to him because sometimes when I say it out loud I hear how ridiculous I am sounding.

Of course, I told him the whole story from the beginning, making sure not to leave out any details, that’s the Pisces in me…lol After I told him what was going on I mentioned that I needed to shift my energy around this because it was attracting even more negative energy, but how?

1. Verbally repeat, out loud to your bestie about how someone did you wrong. (Knowing damn good and well that if you are upset about something that someone else did, that it is a reflection of you. So who got you upset?)
2. Then proceed to feel like the victim until you stop and put yourself in the other persons shoes. (It’s always best to do this practice so you can see how to appropriately respond instead of react.)
3. Now that you’ve realized that you reacted instead responded, think about how you would have liked someone to respond to you in this situation? (If the tables were turned, I would want her to be a good friend and listen without passing judgement. I mean for crying out loud she was on the verge of getting kicked out of her home because of  this issue.)                    
4. Put your “Big Girl” pants on and apologize and show some compassion. (Admitting your were wrong may seem hard at first, but it’ll make a world of difference for their energy and yours.)
5. Go work on your shit. (Now that I have found where the initial problem came from, me being an asshole, I can go into that shadow part of myself and find the trigger. More than likely I was triggered by money.)

I can now direct my energy towards healing instead of worry, guilt, or shame. Hmmm…the money thing has come up for me a couple of times in two days. Time to dive deep and see how I can change my relationship around money. I’ll let y’all know how that goes.

Namaste,